2.16.2010

Valentine's Day - revisited

This is the portion of the show where the author falls on her sword...

Stacy, I over-reacted and read some things into your response. Got defensive, I did.    You have always been straight up with me ( it WAS rather 'its all in your head'..which is what I saw as a bit harsh)- and I should know by now to filter by what I know your intentions to be.  Still, I was concerned that it seems like I'd given the idea that there was any materialistic bent to my comments... because I was sure you knew me better than that! :)  And OF COURSE I know its about how I view things... you KNOW I know that.  I just didn't want to in the moment. 

Another friend made a comment about my hating Valentine's Day... so I guess I DID come off sounding kind of pissed off at the Hallmark Holiday and feeling sorry for myself.  Sooo... I will take a moment here and clarify... I DO NOT HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.  I went off on a rant because I was wallowing for a minute... that's all.  Seriously folks, nothing to see here. :) 

I wasn't bothered before nor during the day - it passed with no fanfare or trauma.   I did have a couple of lovely surprises... friends Diana and Brian and their children dropped by Sunday night to visit and bring me flowers and home made Valentimes (they are on the fridge).  And tonight I got TWO belated V-Day treats... a lovely card/gift from my daughter and another friend brought me low-fat ice cream sandwiches (YUM!). 

On Saturday I went to a movie and early dinner with my soon-to-be-leaving-New-Jersey friend.  We saw - drum roll please - Valentine's Day.  An all-star cast...  it was cute.  Not astonishing, no great special effects, nothing learned...just a cute rom-com with lots and lots of eye-candy.  Ashton Kutcher is pretty darn cute...McDreamy and McSteamy - can't go wrong there... and Bradley what's-his-face (Hollywood flavor of the month).  All in all, very nice.  And the women weren't bad either.  LOL It had a little bit of everything... cheating, lying, healing, realizing you love your best friend, unexpected romance... all good.

And then we had an early dinner at Outback Steakhouse.  Mmm- steak.  Phyllis leaves at the end of the month to return to Boise... so I was happy to have some time with her. 

And for the rest of the weekend... I read, read, read, read and read. Hehehe... finished up my REAL book and read TWO eBooks on the Nook.  Not a bad weekend at all. :)

2.12.2010

Got Nook?

No... not that kind of nookie...lol 

The Barnes and Noble Nook (eReader).  I've been toting around gift cards from Christmas from various friends and family members WAITING for this thing to be available.  And today my gf and I went to B&N to order it "in store" as  Sherry called Customer Service this morning and they reported that none were available in our area...unless we wanted to drive to Staten Island.  Um.. no. 

We go to the customer service booth and ask how we order one... to which the perkly little girl says "oh, you don't need to order them, we have them in stock."  WHAT?!?!?!?!?  Whoo hoo!  We were like giddy little school girls.  So now I have a Nook... a place to store electronic versions of books reather than buy piles and piles... I expect to find it especially nice when flying somewhere!  And its sooooo pretty. 

I'm still playing with it and learning how it works... too bad I have a REAL book to finish before I can start to read the ones I've downloaded thus far. 

Me... my Nook... Happy Valentine's Day to ME!!!!!! 

Love, Me. 

2.09.2010

Lessons at the Knee of My Mama

Life lessons start early... and lately I've been thinking about some of the things that I remember learning from my mother...so I thought I would dedicate this one to her and recount a few of them. In no particular order or importance... and at best, random...

What Should I Be When I Grow Up?
As children/teens (even adults!) most of us have had conversations with parents about "what should I do when I grow up"... oh, we all have ideas... sports stars, fireman, teachers, movie stars, pilots, doctors, nurses.  I don't remember WHY it came up I only remember the advice. She said "whatever you do, make sure it suits your soul.  If it doesn't, you'll be miserable." I've always remembered that and employed it when determining what to focus on in school... I always ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher... and as a child, I thought I'd teach grade school.  As an adult, I realized that I did not want to do that... and that I still really liked teaching and was good at it.  I learned that I am an awesome trainer of adults - its a completely different dynamic than teaching a child.  Teaching adults... technical training to be specific... is what "suits my soul". 

Roger Thorpe
I don't know how old I was when this happened, had to be grade school.  I was home from school (sick?) and was helping Mom fold clothes while we watcher TV.  Her soap of choice was the now dimmed Guiding Light (the only one I really ever followed too).  A man came on the screen and she turned to me and said "THAT is a snake... when you meet one, run the other direction".  That snake was Roger Thorpe, a charming, sneaky, handsome man that wreaked havoc on the show.  I remembered that... and sadly, did not run when I met some.  There's a reason men like that do well... their behavior works for them, they are darn near irresitable. LOL  *sigh*  Shoulda listened, yes, I know.

"Please excuse Rieda..."
Sometimes skipping school in order to spend the day with your mom...is ok. As long as you aren't missing tests and are generally a decent student.  My mom went back to college to get her RN when Roxie was in grade school.  Occassionally, as we were all getting ready for school, she would suggest that I skip school (no tests?) and go to school with her and then we'd go have lunch or go shopping in Spokane.  I loved those days and no lasting damage was done ( I have a Masters degree for pity's sake...it didn't scar me or turn me into a ner-do-well). 

The Big Picture
I think she got this from John Davis... or maybe President Welch... can't remember.  But I do remember being a bit of a drama queen... and I would positively stew over things...and then I'd be tortured (especially if it was about a boy).  I must have been over the top one day when she asked me something to the effect of "In the big picture, the expanse of eternity... will this matter?  will it change who you are and what you will be?"  Well... when you put it THAT way... hrrmpft.  If the answer is no, then LET. IT. GO.  Not much of the daily minutia really matters when its compared to the eternities, does it?  It taught me to try not to give my energy to the things that don't matter and focus on the things that do.

You Can Do It
At no point in my childhood did I expect to be a single parent. 

And my mother was so NOT happy when I told them I was pregnant (dad either).  However, from the moment I made the decision to stay in SLC (lots of prayer involved there!) I knew that I would be ok.  I told them how I had come to my decision and that was that.  All through my life my parents had been encouraging me... I could do anything I set my mind to.  And while not a smoothe period of my life, they quickly came to terms with my decision and were supportive in whatever manner I needed. 

There were concerns that I would never finish school... ha! I repeat... Masters Degree.  I could have wallowed and been a victim of my choices... but that's not how I was raised.  My parents, my grandparents... they all had many more challenges than I was facing... and their example made it clear that I came from good stock on all sides.  The lessons here?  A lifetime of parents teaching life skills... cooking (chicken and rice, tuna casserole, stew, pot roast, pasta chuta... all staples), babysitting (how many kids did she babysit when we were growing up?), sewing, housekeeping (altho like most I have no affinity for it), problem solving, and self-reliance.

Having been raised that way...oldest daughter and all that... being pregnant at 21 did not end my life. I was prepared to be a mother - even if it wasn't in ideal circumstances.  And the choice to stay in SLC with my family rather than return to DC?  The biggest lesson... trust that the Lord will guide you and take care of you.  (sadly I forgot that for a time... much better now).  Its true what they say, at least for me, raise a child up in the gospel and if they stray, they will return. 

My mother listened to the Spirit without questioning... with one exception (bike wreck, Catholic Church wall, hole in leg... scraped up from here to breakfast) ...lol  She didn't usually know why, she just KNEW. 

Self-esteem
One thing that I think has always pained my mother was my low self-esteem... she never understood how that happened.  I don't remember my parents being dismissive or doing things that told me I was unimportant to them.  As a matter of fact, they were forever telling me how smart I was, how beautiful and that they loved me.  So how did I end up thinking so poorly of myself?  Alright.. so I had brothers who were ruthless in their teasing (Chubs? Bucky?... did NOT help... and you are forgiven). The point is my parents were not at the core of my troubles... it really was all about boys...stupid, foolish, teenage boys and the foolish, hystrionic, teenage girl that wanted one to like her. 

One of the great loves of my life was a man that was 16 years older than I.  We were talking one day about high school and I was telling him that I had NO boyfriends at all and no one (boy) ever liked me... and that it was painful.  He said to me "if I'd known you then, I'd have told you you were beautiful"... to which I gently replied "honey, you were a grown up, I wouldn't have cared what you thought"  LOL  And its true... many an adult gave me praise and love... and it still didn't take the place of having the attention of a boy.  Sad, I know... but that's where it started. 

NOT with the mom or the dad.  I always knew they loved me and thought I was the cat's pajamas.  I never questioned it.  Peace be with you, Mom, it wasn't anything you did or did not do.  :)

Travel is Good
My mother started travelling internationally (with her mother) when I was in 7th grade. She and my grandmother (and my father to a degree) have a travel bug.  I have it... thanks to my trip to Italy with said grandmother.  And its not just the joy of travelling... its the history to be found there! 

Buy Name Brand
Buy the good stuff whenever you can afford it. 

Ok... that's all I can come up with now... its impossible to REALLY capture all the lessons learned at the knees of my parents... these are just a few. 

2.04.2010

Groundhogs, Hearts, & Chocolate

Welcome to February! 

Groundhogs:
Six more weeks of winter... so sayeth  the groundhog Phil!  As long as its over by April 1st, I'm good!  On April 1st my daughter, Anna (blog decor darling) and my niece, Shannon  (oldest of the blondies) will fly in to Philly for a visit!  wOOt!  I cannot wait!  They will be my first visitors on the east coast!  They will fly in on Thursday and leave Monday afternoon.  So there's a lot to cram in to a few days... and I'll be happy just to be with them.  Its Shannon's first plane trip ever and Anna's first with connections (she freaked for a minute...lol). 

Hearts
Ah... Valentine's Day.  The single woman's least favorite holiday. There is no greater reminder that you are alone than on this day.  While Anna was growing up I could fake it and make my darling daughter my Valentine... well, until the brat went and got one of her own. LOL  I think I actually give it more energy BEFORE the day than ON the day... so I work at not getting down in the dumps.  And folks, no matter what any (always married) friend says, it DOES fling into the face the fact that I am alone. I know the intentions are good and sincere... just not helpful.  That said, I do not begrudge anyone else their sweetheart... that would just be mean.  Celebrate your love, be grateful for each other, and enjoy the day that's meant for love! 

Chocolate
Ok... I know I'm in the minority because I can do without chocolate.  Which is a good thing since February is the month of hearts AND CHOCOLATE.  Lucky for me my drug of choice if not chocolate.  What is?  not the point.  lol   Don't get me wrong... there's some good stuff out there... and I have been know to dabble... Reeses Peanut Butter Anything (hearts, trees, eggs... the holiday treats), chocolate covered nuts, caramels... all very yummy.  And easier for me to say no to than, say, Diet Coke.  If I belonged to a religion that gave things up for Lent it would have to be Diet Coke... *whew*

Snow
I recently had a conversation with a friend at work that is a skier... I used to ski... I LOVED it and I was pretty good.  Pretty good being defined as being able to go all day without wiping out.  My first experience was night skiing at Lookout Pass on the border of Idaho and Montana (I think technically its Idaho).  My father and my brother taught me...I remember starting with the tow rope... and then graduating to the pomma (sp). I think my dad wanted to make sure I was serious because it was the NEXT year that he put me in lessons.  Two years of lessons on the hill and I LOVED LOVED LOVED it.  I was frozen to the bone at the day and I didn't care (altho I probably complained). 

My favorite ski memory was the day my dad pulled me out of school.  I was in 6th grade.  I was in class and got a note from the office saying my father was coming to get me because I was needed at home.  I can't remember if they said she was hurt or if I just started to make things up in my head (ah... that might be where it started).  So by the time he got there to pick me up I was terrified my mother was lying bleeding and broken at the bottom of the stairs.  We were in the car driving home and I probably started to cry and he lightly punched me in the arm and said "your mom is fine, we're going skiing"  LOL  That was the first time I ever skied at Silverhorn.  It was also the year that I got my first pair of skis with brakes rather than straps.  We were riding up the chair lift (not the first run or I'd have freaked!) and I was swinging my skis back and forth... and clicked them together and WHOMP... one of my skis falls off and goes falling to the ground. So here I am, on the chairlift, panicing because how the heck do I GET OFF the chair with one ski????  The operators stopped the chair so I could get off and a kindly soul brought me the ski.  Believe you me, I NEVER clicked my skis together again.  Lesson learned. 

Don't you wish all lessons were that simple to learn?  lol