Weekend Adventures

It took a day of recovery... but I'm finally able to form a coherent thought.

Last Thursday I jumped on a plane (ok, jumped might be a strong word, they frown on erratic movement) to Louisville, Kentucky. Why?  To see my friend, Mike.  We've known each other a long time... 23 years... and we hadn't seen each other in 15.  More on that later...

Also, the trip allowed me to see someone else I've known for a really long time... my SISTER.  Georgie and her family live in Tennessee and she and her new husband (I hadn't met him yet) drove many hours so we could spend some time together.  On Friday, we hooked up at the Shoney's in Frankfort and were able to sit and visit.  Have to admit that I like the new BIL... and its clear he loves my sister (which, of course, is all that matters).  And it shows in Georgie too.  Enjoyed the visit immensely!  Wish it had been longer (had to be back to pick up Mike by 3).. but next time!  Didn't get to see the rest of her family either... so next time. 

Back to Mike... Mike, BFF Stacy and I all met in 1987 when I lived in Washington, DC and worked as a nanny and they were in the Army and stationed at Walter Reed.  And despite some periods of losing touch, they are still the dearest of friends.  Like I said, it had been 15 years since I had seen Mike, so the visit was long overdue.  I got to meet his precocious little boy... terribly cute. 

We tried touristy stuff and were foiled in out attempts!  Churchill Downs... a must, right?  Right... would have been if the museum had been open.  Grrr..  Went to Claudia Sanders restaurant and had some yummy southern cooking... learned I will NEVER been a true southern cook... Food. Too. Heavy.  Came home with two cookbooks to add to my collection (thank you Mike) with some yummy things to test out on my unsuspecting co-workers.  Lots of good time with Mike... missed him in the years we were out of touch. 

Some really good things came out of the visit and I wanted to bring them to light here... because ultimately, they contribute to my weight loss success!  As I let go of my thinking errors... my heart, mind, AND body lighten up. 


So, some things that occurred to me (or at least crossed my mind over the weekend)

Emotional Eating... I've never really been able to say with absolute certainty that I'm an emotional eater (at least not any more than any average person is)...because I'm not.  That's a good thing, people!  What I DO do however, is eat when I'm bored.  Bored, bored, bored, BORED! (I wasn't bored this weekend and it was emotional, so that's why it came to mind)

I can't say that I haven't been more of an emotional eater in the past... I think most people have circumstances that lend to emotional eating and I definately believe that was the case for me.  And that's where the habit took seed... when I first moved to my current apartment I was newly single and alone for the first time in my entire life... no parents, not children, no boyfriends, no friends.  So, of course I took solace in food.  Over the course of the last year however, I've found peace in living alone (even if my apartment lacks the storage space for all of my christmas stuff). And now, the eating when bored... totally habit. 

Bored eating... sounds easy to solve, doesn't it?  DO SOMETHING TO KEEP BUSY... thank you, Captain Obvious.  When it becomes a habit, it doesn't matter how SIMPLE to solution sounds, its still something that takes effort to break.   Its the time of year that affords me the opportunity to change this pattern... because with Christmas coming, I have lots and lots o'sewing to do!  And it just isn't seemly to have crumbs or worse mar the lovely fabric of the gifts I make for people. 

Broken...its a word I heard a lot this weekend.  It has made me think of how -I- define the word broken when it comes to a person.  Everyone has their own take on it... but really, isn't mine all that matters?  lol 

I think its possible for pieces of the human spirit and heart to be broken.  The ability to trust, risk, love, chase dreams, find joy... all of those things can be broken.  I do NOT believe its a permanent condition... at least it doesn't have to be.  So I had the chance to check myself (after all, that's all I can change) for "broken bits" because the flip side of the broken coin is fixing it... I don't think anything or anyone is completely broken or beyond fixing.  And since I can only fix me... that's what I looked at. 

Trust: Gotta admit, I'm probably not as trusting as I used to be. OR maybe I'm just more selective of those I blindly trust. It depends largely on what someone is being entrusted with as well... I am the first to admit that I want to try and fix things for myself, I don't like asking for help.  Its not as much a lack of trust in others as much as needing to know I can do it myself. Not broken

Risk: the last three years have been about risk... moved to Texas, then North Jersey and finally Central Jersey... found and lost love...had three different jobs... honestly?  I am ready to NOT take so many risks for awhile. Without risk, no gain... so I'll probably continue to take risks.  I never jump completely without thinking and I am seldom caught unaware as to my motives.  Not broken

Love:  ah... the crux of it all!  hmmm... will come back to this. 

Chase Dreams:  This has been hard... I can't even remember what my dreams were!  I delved into my childhood journals in search of them and found more than I'd bargained for (which had nothing to do with dreams).  So, I'm still in search... Cracked? Maybe, not broken...lol

Finding Joy: Joy was... is...something I have had to search for, its true.  So many radical changes to my life in such a relatively short period of time.  What is joy when you live alone?  When you live away from anyone and everyone that you love...especially your beloved only child?  Its been a challenge... having a good friend (and her parents that have kind of adopted me) has helped tremendously!  Being grateful for my incredibly blessed life also helps!  Looking at the future as endless possibilities and not fearful of what it holds is critical for me.  Am I joyful?  I'm not sure what that looks like... what I DO know is that I don't sit around moping or crying in my beer and I generally LIKE my life.... so again Not broken

So, what's all this got to do with weight loss?  Most excellent question, gentle reader.  I stepped on the scale this morning... EEK!  I consider where I was three years ago when I left SLC - weight wise- and really, I'm down about 30 lbs all things told.  I have a ways to go, so for me, not only are food choices and quantities critical, so is understanding where I am on all these things that insulate (fat) me from... all of the nasty things that scare me.  The reality, folks, is that when insulated and protected from the nasty things, the good things are also blocked... and THAT, I am not ok with. 

I jumped on the blog bandwagon with my friend Sherry as we both want to have the fabulousness inside be matched by our outsides.  I am not yet to the point where I want to confessing my food sins to the world by reporting what I eat each day... if I get to the point of wanting more accountablity I will add it... for now, its this kind of rambling. 

WOOT! Finally!

I finally stopped playing around with the layout... time to get to business. 

The intent of this blog is to bring about positive and fabulous changes.

Like I said in the "why am I here" block, ultimately, its about losing weight. I recognize there are significant things that block me... my own blocks... that have nothing to do with what foods I eat or how active I am.  I SO don't discount those aspects as well, I'm just saying that's not all there is to the story.  If that were the case, people (me) would be able to lose weight easily.

What I plan to serve up here are all of the positive, enlightening, and encouraging ah-ha moments that help me.  I plan to do it with liberal doses of humor and dashes of sarcasm, just to spice things up. 

Like many people with weight issues, I've tried lots of things... altho I must confess I haven't ever been very dedicated.  In May, my good friend, Sherry, and I joined Weight Watchers.  I liked it!  And we did very well.... until financial cut-backs required the cutting back things like... Weight Watchers memberships.  Once my finances lighten up, I will go back.  In the meantime, I have all of the tools. 

Regroup and regrow... I just heard that on Sherri Shephard's new show... and love it! I like it so much that its the name of this blog... perfect!