Readers Beware! A Reflective Post...

In case you ever wonder WHY so many of my thoughts are about romantic love it is because it's the only thing missing in my life!  I have a fabulous child, a great career, good friends, and a nice life.  But I'm alone... at the end of the day, its just me.  And someday I'd like it to NOT be just me... so I think about it sometimes, and it comes through in these posts.  I appreciate your tolerance... :)

In Chapter 2 of the Soulmate Secret author Arielle Ford addresses readiness; readiness for having your soulmate arrive!  She discusses the importance of 'preparing' the soil and 'weeding the garden of our hearts, bodies, and minds' before we can really be ready to receive new love.  When I read this book many months...a year?...ago, I went through all of the exercises and tools she proposed.  And I it helped a lot, not with everything in one fell swoop, but it was a great beginning!  

In my opinion, this chapter is all about gettin' rid of baggage!  Good baggage, bad baggage, cheap baggage... it all gets in the way if we...I... want to manifest (aka visualization, attract) my soulmate. I've always had a weird feeling that we've already met, and maybe we've already had a shot and it failed for whatever reason...that time.  So I will trust that IF that is true, that the Universe will give us another shot. 

Whether we've already met, or have yet to meet...doesn't really matter and that's not really what this post is about. It's about the readiness.  So, lets get started! :)  These are the questions she asks...

#1... Is there someone I'm still in love with? (ok, I'd never have written the sentence that way)

Three weeks ago, I would have said no without hesitation.  In the last year I FINALLY managed to let go of THE block, so I figured I was good. But then... Anna's dad popped up.  STOP... this is a GOOD GOOD thing!  For Anna, for him, for me... and not because we're going to be some happy little family (altho that idea was appealing) but because there were things that needed to be said.  So I'm going to rephrase this question...

Are there feelings left from a past love that need to be acknowledged and addressed?  

Yup... didn't even know they were there, they'd been packed away for more than 20 years, with a layer of dust so thick that I didn't know they were still there!  But in the last couple of weeks, at least for me, we've talked things out...got a little caught up in the feelings... cried a bit, processed a lot, and am coming out on the other side...feeling free-er. 

I had thought for a long time that the core of many of my relationship decisions and mistakes stemmed from the way our relationship ended.  I never thought there'd be a chance to address the situation because I only had one side, mine, and time had colored some things.  So, to hear his side, to realize just how many crazy and stupid misunderstandings there were, things said in a reaction to hurt, and all of the things that followed.  I was totally open to seeing if we had a second shot, that would have been cool.  And not JUST because he's Anna's father, he can be that without being anything but my friend.  But for us, since suddenly old, and new (for me) feelings were coming up.  Oh well... apparently not strong enough.  And that's ok.  So at least now I know...and I can 'rebuild', let go of some ways of thinking that orginated many years ago.

I'm grateful for the events of the last few weeks, they have been hard but valuable. 

#2...Is there someone I am still angry with, feel betrayed, or haven't forgiven?

Short answer...no.  I'm good. 

I spent a lot of time on this question the first time I read the book... and suspect it's also part of the reason I went into this revival of communication with Anna's father without angry feelings.  So I feel pretty good about this one... ultimately, even though it hurts, I can't make someone love me, I can't make them want to be with me, I can't make them consider me important enough to put forth an effort... and that's what I've always wanted most, so it had sucked that over and over again I've looked for those things in men that were incapable of giving it, to me at least.  Holding on to anger, hurt, and sorrow (beyond a reasonable period :)  ) is pointless and only hurts me. 

I'm grateful that this is truly a part of how I live, that I consciously work at NOT holding on to hard feelings and hurt. 

#3... Is there room in my life for another person?

Er...literally?  My apartment is teeeeeeeny... It's bursting at the seams with just me! Oh, no...that's not all she meant... lol  The question is about having the time and energy to devote to a deep, loving, committed relationship.  Oh... that.  Yes, I DO believe I have the time and energy... that's never been a problem. 

I am grateful that I haven't really let past experiences convince me that relationships aren't worth the effort. 

#4... Am I physically ready?

That's not referring to being skinny. It's referring to presentation though, being deliberate in the non-verbal messages that are being sent... and appearance impacts it all... its true, when we look good we feel good, when we feel good we are more confident.  I know that's true for me... and when I feel more confident, I attract confident people. 

The flip side of that is that we're ALWAYS attracting people, whether we feel good or not, they just may not be the kind of people we want to attract!  So basically, this question is about your...my... physical appearance being consistent with the kind of person I want to attract. 

As for what I'm doing... I'm keeping busy, not so crazy that I am in avoidance, but busy enough.  I especially am enjoying my workouts at Curves, especially the nights I do Zumba!!! And people are starting to comment that its showing, which is nice re-enforcement of my efforts (which I would continue even if no one said anything, because I feel better!!!). 

I am grateful for my increased energy and positive feelings that come from exercise and being around people that shore me up simply by being themselves.

#5... Creating Soul Space

Gotta say, this one is hard for me.  I'm a believer in being actively engaged in this pursuit... but this one wants me to be still.  Still?????  She says that readiness isn't just about releasing old loves (and all the related baggage), it's also about achieving a degree of stillness inside, I interpret that as peace.  Think about it, if there's too much going on inside, can you even HEAR your intuition? 

Oh yeah... she also says timing is everything.  Bah... I HATE that I believe that sometimes...lol But I do, totally.  There's a reason Anna's dad resurfaced when he did, why it didn't happen 6 months from now and why other interactions we've had in the past few years have been dismal at best.  And so it shall be with this too.  Soulmate shows up on anything but MY timetable.  I will continue to work on trusting that timetable.  And its not really as tortureous as it sounds...lol 

I am grateful for a firm belief that things happen for a reason and in their own time. 

Ok kids, that's chapter two of the book... if you're single, and not wanting to be (or you know someone who is), I recommend the book.  Even if you don't fully embrace the idea of manifestation, the exercises and stories she tells will probably resonate on some level.